Pratima Shah

     Confiding our pain, joy or secrets to someone close is one of the reasons why we have tags for the people in our life. One needs a besty to whom you can go and vent out whatever he / she wants. But if the tables turn around these sharing can be dangerous when the person has spilt out all the beans before someone. Due to this people warn one another about the distance to be maintained or a limit to be set. If you exceed this you are definitely going to pose problems for you in life. The thing to remember is that not everyone whom you consider a friend is your true friend. They may be many among those who are wolves in the disguise of a sheep. Such people are always on the move to fulfill their malice motives by stabbing you.    There are many instances of friends parting ways due to the giving out of a secret or by sharing confidential / personal secrets. One must be very cautious while sharing details of your life to someone; be it professional / personal. Most of the time it

   Strange as it seems, I have observed that most of us are very strong enough to handle failure. What we are unable to handle is the fear of rejection that comes with failure. It is dreary for us when the people around us perceive us in poor light. A considerable part of our identity depends on how others perceive us because humans are social animals. Our self worth relies on our apparent relative status that we hold in our social circle because the activities that happen within this circle are our mood busters. When these activities are declined to us or when they decrease we are in stress. Social rejection is a very paralyzing factor for human beings. Apart from social rejection, people can be rejected at an emotional / professional / physical level too. Due to this we never portray what we are in our true self nor do we pursue our passions. We suffer within ourselves and do not stop to please the expectations of our social circle.    It is said that those who are happy have a

   The thoughts and emotions that go on within a person hamper the relations / surroundings of that person. Happy thoughts and healthy emotions give a pleasant feeling to any person with whom you interact. But unhappy thoughts and unhealthy emotions entangle you into the vicious web and make you bitter towards people / situations / outlook towards life. The person who is full of negativity of this sort has developed a tendency of revisiting these emotions like gloom, resentment and anxiety and thus wastes his / her time and energy. This mode of behavior deprives them of good health, makes them ineffective in anything they do and they are highly unpopular among family and friends. Their mind is their greatest enemy. Such people are not even aware of the fact that the reason for their frustration is these gloomy thoughts that takes a toll on their life. And the ones who are aware of this do not understand how to subdue the gloom and despair that keeps visiting them again and again.

Most of us may have watched the video of Greta Thunberg, the 16 year old environmental activist from Sweden. In her video she blames the previous generations and the world leaders for ruining the earth and making life difficult for the young generation. The way she has vented out her anger and distress at the past generations speaks of the young crop that is going to be yielded in the future. Most of the children and teenagers seriously believe that it is their parents and grandparents who have created chaos and made the world a broken world full of insecurity, economic depression and degradation of the environment.    The generation is not wrong but how valid are they in blaming the previous generations. Rather than blaming why can't the youth find sustainable solutions. If we look at the past there will be umpteen reasons for which the elderly generations can be blamed. But the beauty lies in moving ahead rather than brooding over the past. One must take into consideration t

   On my way to the college I came across a woman who was seated on the footpath on the crossroads. She was selling balloons. She looked fresh as it was the beginning of the day around 9 a.m. It was the time when everyone is rushing to their workplace or dropping the kids / family member. There was a jam at the crossroads due to the RED signal. Everyone was waiting for the signal to turn GREEN. I looked out of the window and my eyes fell on this balloon seller who was grooming herself. She was applying vermilion on her head holding a mirror in her hand. I was all smiles as she was completely unaware of what was around her and was engrossed in herself. After applying talcum powder on her face she looked in the mirror and checked if she looked okay. The immediate thought that struck me was that we women always need time to groom ourselves / to dress up as per the occasion. Here was this lady so unaware of people around her. When at home we dress up and make ourselves ready we always

   It is really very difficult to break our habits and adapt to changes. Each one of us is not capable enough to break the shackles of old habits and form fruitful new habits. In trying to break a habit we are tempted many times to give up and most of the times we give up. According to research and many of the psychologists - it takes 21 days to develop a new habit. Still most of us give up while we are in the process of creating a positive life change as we are in pain due to the stress that follows in repairing our old habits. In the initial phase every one is in great enthusiasm to do everything that it takes but gradually the enthusiasm with which one began the journey subsides. Forming new habits is like wearing new shoes which feel uncomfortable in the initial phase. Once your feet get used to the new pair they become like a second skin.    According to the timeless words of Publilius Syrus, "Powerful indeed is the empire of habits." Yes, habits are very powerful b

    There are people in the world around us who are experts at using us when required and once their needs are met, they completely ignore us. Many of us may have experienced this. A colleague of mine was narrating one of her experiences which left me aghast. But with the advent and extreme use of social media this has become very common. People ignore very cold bloodedly and even disappear for a long time. This kind of ghosting leaves the other party shattered because he / she is very much attached emotionally. In relations where someone is attached emotionally and deeply involved, it becomes rather difficult for the other person to cope with this traumatic experience. There are a variety of ways to ignore someone like not replying to messages / just sending bull shit emojis but not responding / being busy for that particular person but sparing time for the shittiest stuff / not meeting the other person / ghosting / showing and conveying that 'I am tired' of the same stuf