Pratima Shah

   Some persons are 'perpetual waiters' who spend the time of their life in waiting. They are habituated with waiting; either small scale waiting like waiting at the station, waiting in line at the mall / traffic jams. Some wait for the right time to do what they want to do, some for the next holiday, some for the children to grow up - all these are examples of large scale waiting. People spend their life waiting for the right time to live a life of their desires.    This waiting is the state of mind of a person and is a signal that you are just stressed and worried about your future and thus you end up wasting your present. This stresses you because you get so busy in reaching your future destination that one reduces the present to merely a means to get there. When one wants to be in the future rather than living in the present; one is crushed in a split that is lacerating you deep inside. This way you are being instrumental in accelerating the aging process in your body

    During an argument or a disagreement with someone, most of us operate from pride almost at all times . Whenever there is a difference of opinion between two persons what hurts the most is the pride not the difference. If someone is asked to submit a report to another colleague to maintain transparency and ensure smooth functioning; why should that person feel bitter about it? This bitterness is nothing but pride and is not at all related in anyway to sending the report. We humans are capable enough to turn simple things into complicated issues. There are many who have the tag of being a "complicated mind". The pride within the person narrows down to one's wants  / likes/ feelings. If there is compassion instead of pride the person would be living life on a huge canvas with a bigger perception.     When differences arise do not get into your toxic circle of what you want; instead try to look at the situation with a wider perspective. Watch your mind, is it giving

   Every child around me; be it from primary / secondary / graduate school is full of anxiety. The anxiety to be first in everything he / she does. The anxiety to leave all behind and be ahead of all. All the children are running a race; thanks to our education system. The system and its functioning is the reason why the parents and teachers have created a competition in the classroom. Based on this competition every child feels that if she / he is first in everything he / she will be respected and rewarded by parents and teachers. If anyone fails he / she will be humiliated and belittled by all. Many of the children succumb to this pressure and anxiety and we find them lifeless going around in the journey of life.    From a very tender age this race begins in the education system. The children are brainwashed to stop living a life and be first. The result is that the child forgets everything and is on the run to put others aside to be first. I witness children crying, begging and

   A person who looks perfectly fine but is always going through some pain or the other in the body / may be dealing with health issues could be the one who has many unresolved issues / inner conflict. When we have an argument with someone; we argue, give reasons for our justification and resolve the matter. This happens with issues at the workplace or among friends. A human is capable enough to resolve the issues others than with the family. The reason for this is that every human is so much burdened with the pressures and expectations of the family. A woman once narrated a childhood incident of how her puppy died because of her. Her parents made her apologize to everyone in the family by writing an apology. She was just a child and barely 10 years. Her parents had asked her to take care of their pet as they were away. The girl herself had never got used to being with the puppy as it was barely fifteen days of buying the puppy as a pet. The girl was in her room doing her homework

     The heart wrenching and tragic case of rape and murder of the 26 year old veterinary doctor has left many women like me in a shock. Yet what is our system doing? Do we need to file a case and go through the procedures for such barbarians? They should be immediately killed without wasting time and resources. The intensity of the torture and the pain the girl must have felt is something unimaginable. What thoughts must be going on in her mind? Was she in that state to fight or did she fight? How miserable and devastated she must have felt!!! Watching the news made me numb; unable to think what the girl must have felt; tears rolling down my eyes. There is genuinely no safety in our country for girls. Our country is expert in filing cases and following procedures with no results and years of time wasted. There is a huge protest against those barbarians. Do those bastards deserve this? They just deserve a brutal death like the way they treated the doctor. At times I feel the judici

     Confiding our pain, joy or secrets to someone close is one of the reasons why we have tags for the people in our life. One needs a besty to whom you can go and vent out whatever he / she wants. But if the tables turn around these sharing can be dangerous when the person has spilt out all the beans before someone. Due to this people warn one another about the distance to be maintained or a limit to be set. If you exceed this you are definitely going to pose problems for you in life. The thing to remember is that not everyone whom you consider a friend is your true friend. They may be many among those who are wolves in the disguise of a sheep. Such people are always on the move to fulfill their malice motives by stabbing you.    There are many instances of friends parting ways due to the giving out of a secret or by sharing confidential / personal secrets. One must be very cautious while sharing details of your life to someone; be it professional / personal. Most of the time it

   Strange as it seems, I have observed that most of us are very strong enough to handle failure. What we are unable to handle is the fear of rejection that comes with failure. It is dreary for us when the people around us perceive us in poor light. A considerable part of our identity depends on how others perceive us because humans are social animals. Our self worth relies on our apparent relative status that we hold in our social circle because the activities that happen within this circle are our mood busters. When these activities are declined to us or when they decrease we are in stress. Social rejection is a very paralyzing factor for human beings. Apart from social rejection, people can be rejected at an emotional / professional / physical level too. Due to this we never portray what we are in our true self nor do we pursue our passions. We suffer within ourselves and do not stop to please the expectations of our social circle.    It is said that those who are happy have a

Most of us may have watched the video of Greta Thunberg, the 16 year old environmental activist from Sweden. In her video she blames the previous generations and the world leaders for ruining the earth and making life difficult for the young generation. The way she has vented out her anger and distress at the past generations speaks of the young crop that is going to be yielded in the future. Most of the children and teenagers seriously believe that it is their parents and grandparents who have created chaos and made the world a broken world full of insecurity, economic depression and degradation of the environment.    The generation is not wrong but how valid are they in blaming the previous generations. Rather than blaming why can't the youth find sustainable solutions. If we look at the past there will be umpteen reasons for which the elderly generations can be blamed. But the beauty lies in moving ahead rather than brooding over the past. One must take into consideration t

   On my way to the college I came across a woman who was seated on the footpath on the crossroads. She was selling balloons. She looked fresh as it was the beginning of the day around 9 a.m. It was the time when everyone is rushing to their workplace or dropping the kids / family member. There was a jam at the crossroads due to the RED signal. Everyone was waiting for the signal to turn GREEN. I looked out of the window and my eyes fell on this balloon seller who was grooming herself. She was applying vermilion on her head holding a mirror in her hand. I was all smiles as she was completely unaware of what was around her and was engrossed in herself. After applying talcum powder on her face she looked in the mirror and checked if she looked okay. The immediate thought that struck me was that we women always need time to groom ourselves / to dress up as per the occasion. Here was this lady so unaware of people around her. When at home we dress up and make ourselves ready we always

   It is really very difficult to break our habits and adapt to changes. Each one of us is not capable enough to break the shackles of old habits and form fruitful new habits. In trying to break a habit we are tempted many times to give up and most of the times we give up. According to research and many of the psychologists - it takes 21 days to develop a new habit. Still most of us give up while we are in the process of creating a positive life change as we are in pain due to the stress that follows in repairing our old habits. In the initial phase every one is in great enthusiasm to do everything that it takes but gradually the enthusiasm with which one began the journey subsides. Forming new habits is like wearing new shoes which feel uncomfortable in the initial phase. Once your feet get used to the new pair they become like a second skin.    According to the timeless words of Publilius Syrus, "Powerful indeed is the empire of habits." Yes, habits are very powerful b

    There are people in the world around us who are experts at using us when required and once their needs are met, they completely ignore us. Many of us may have experienced this. A colleague of mine was narrating one of her experiences which left me aghast. But with the advent and extreme use of social media this has become very common. People ignore very cold bloodedly and even disappear for a long time. This kind of ghosting leaves the other party shattered because he / she is very much attached emotionally. In relations where someone is attached emotionally and deeply involved, it becomes rather difficult for the other person to cope with this traumatic experience. There are a variety of ways to ignore someone like not replying to messages / just sending bull shit emojis but not responding / being busy for that particular person but sparing time for the shittiest stuff / not meeting the other person / ghosting / showing and conveying that 'I am tired' of the same stuf

We have the potential to create and recreate our  life but still we are bound and governed by our thoughts. The thoughts we think determine our life. Thoughts that arise in the mind have the power  to destroy our peace as well as give us peace. Too many thoughts may sometimes create a void in the mind. They may make one lose track of the path of life or may put someone back on track.    It doesn't take long for a person to accept defeat due to the thoughts and the pressures that they create. Your thoughts can make you lose your self esteem / become depressed / feel hopeless / become suicidal and lose interest in life. When these things happen due to thoughts there is a sense of utter despair and hopelessness that prevails upon the person. There is no direction nor any interest in living life. Nothing pacifies the thoughts nor does the person feel peaceful.    Nip these thoughts / this state of your mind in the initial process. Do not wait for time to decrease this thought

   The women of my generation might be considered naive and the generations that followed us is too practical. We knew too little compared to the what the girls of today know. The girls that are growing up today may not be the first to encounter equal opportunity but they are definitely the first to learn that all the opportunities may not ever translate in professional achievement. These girls have watched their mothers sacrificing something by trying to "do it all". The something that women gave up / sacrificed was actually their careers.    Women have the skills to lead in any position at the workplace. In some of the elite institutions in India women are outnumbering men at the workplace. The gender gap in academics is a threat to the men as women have outnumbered them here. Yet the tragedy is that the pipeline that is choked with educated women at the entry level is enormously filled with men who are into the leadership positions. The reasons for this winnowing out

   Have you ever felt that there is a kind of tension in your body due to which you have a tight neck / tight shoulders / upset stomach / headaches / or anything like a heavy weight on your body? Due to these symptoms one feels as if there is a huge burden on the body; like a heavy backpack on you. This backpack is filled with nothing but the emotional baggage that one carries throughout the life. This baggage may have come into your life due to childhood problems / familial issues / workplace issues / issues of the society. Sometimes one is so stuck in the old habits that these old habits are responsible for adding a load to the existing emotional baggage that you have stuffed your backpack with.    The emotional baggage one carries interferes with many of the phases of one's life - personal / professional / societal / ambitions / relations / satisfaction in life and many others. This happens because we are very much influenced by our past experiences - solved / unsolved. If

   There are a variety of techniques through which the candidates can answer the questions during an interview. Techniques like compelling story technique, parroting technique, re framing technique, mirroring technique and the Abraham Lincoln technique. One particular approach that can be used to answer the behavioral questions is STAR (situation, task, action and result). It helps a candidate to answer the questions related to his / her behavior by structuring it as per the situation, task, action or the result. This technique helps your to deliver your responses in a simple yet powerful manner and gives an idea on how he / she has dealt with specific work situation and its challenges.     STAR is also known as CAR (context/ challenge, action, result. Both are same in its approach; context here in the CAR relates to situation and task of STAR. Both these methods are similar to the PAR (problem, action, result). The plus point of STAR is that it allows to voice your achievements

   Sometimes I wonder - do we love our people in the right way? What is the right way to love our dear ones? Who decides what is right and wrong? But then with experience all of us realize that to love someone in the right way we need to set them free; allow them to fly in the sky they want to fly and not suffocate them in the name of love. This is so easy to type / say, but difficult to practice. Everyone especially the emotional and highly sensitive ones among us are sooooo caring, anxious, and touchy for the ones they love. This behavior leads to many issues in their relations. Sometimes it is even on the verge of getting shattered completely.     The highly volatile issues that come up in any relation are due to the immense love / care / concern for the person we love. It is possible that the person we love may feel suffocated due to this excess things from our side. This happens the most in cases where one of the partner is over - possessive / when one of the parent too is

       It is aptly said in the Persian language - " bee aamoz ta-zindai " which means - There is no end to learning.  Only a learner till the end, can acquire true knowledge in life. It is the duty of every teacher to keep oneself abreast of all the developments and teaching strategies in their field. Read a lot, do proper planning of classes, prepare yourself daily for classes and deliver it with great enthusiasm. Times have changed and so must the teacher. There is abundant to read, learn and restructure as today's classroom is very different and difficult to handle than the past. Teaching is a noble profession where one has no right to play with the future of the learners. Develop virtues of honesty, integrity, punctuality,  simplicity and discipline as they are at the core of being a good teacher.  Create a conducive environment for learning and this will all be possible if you are like a learner all your life. Do not let the learner within you die else you can

   Irrespective of your field / job description you are always a salesperson - because you communicate the value of something that you do / are required to do. Due to the competition and rivalry one must learn the art of selling yourself in your field / career.     One constantly strives to sustain a positive image of the self. One is selling ideas by highlighting its merits / trying to expand your horizons of influence / negotiating to disagreements / trying to make others agree to your point of view. We need to get better at all of these in order to rise at a personal and professional level because we are always selling our ideas / views / creativity / opinions and many more things that we are required to do for the profession we are in.     To sell yourself effectively one must have a well written sales pitch in the form of your resume / CV. It will shortlist you for the position you are applying for, if it sounds like a professional sales presentation through which you wi

   One is mostly hurt by the expectations which he / she has from someone in life. The rash of expectations has the power to lead us towards despair. Once we experience despair we begin dissecting ourselves and the situations that led to despair. On reflecting, one finds that even though there is anger towards the situation and the person, the heart does not quit. It goes on and on with the memories / thoughts / conversations / and the roller coaster ride in that vicious cycle. Estrangement does not come that easily to many of us. One longs to be in the situation even though in despair. This is witnessed when you are in love with someone to the extent that you do every little thing for the person but still get no affection in return.             Many times things take a drastic turn and relations may even turn into hate stories. When so, one needs to reflect over the reasons - like the kind of words used / actions of the past and behavior. It could be that one has hurt the other i

     The geography of your face and the body which one sees has a dramatic impact in a face to face encounter. Due to this importance, the gaze can be classified into 3 types: Social Gazing, Intimate Gazing and Power Gazing. 1. Social Gaze : In a social encounter, the gazer's eyes look in a triangular area on the face of the other person, i.e between the eyes and the mouth almost for 90% during the encounter. The environment is non - threatening and you will be perceived as non - aggressive by the other person. The gaze is more focused in the area under the eyes. This is often used by people when they are with family and friends while in conversations with them. It is also known as the best responding gaze when your gaze meets the gaze of the other and is also perceived as being open and approachable. 2. Intimate Gaze : This is the gaze which one gives in the triangular area between the eyes and the chest when one is close to the person and when a person is at a distance t