Pratima Shah

   The book titled 'You Do You'  written by Sarah Knight has a chapter titled 'There is Nothing Wrong With You'. Talking over it in an interview, Knight says, "If you insist on making one resolution - it must be to accept yourself for who you are; not to beat yourself up over what you are not (e.g., thin enough, rich enough, stylish enough, in -a -relationship-enough). You will get more out of cultivating confidence and swagger than by enumerating all the ways in which you are deficient - by your own impossibly high standards or anyone else's". Ironically every human in the world is headed for improving the self to death . Be it self - help gurus, the self - help boom, the Instagram healers and the forwards of the Whats App University all are shouting at the top of their voices in unison - become better before you die. Everyone on the planet wants to be perfect, more efficient / focused / productive as all intend to optimize their happiness.    This b

   Never did anyone of us ever anticipate about a pandemic and the lock down that followed it. None of us ever thought that we would all be compelled to stay within the house to save one another. Life was running at a very busy pace and then came a sudden standstill all around us. The ones who complained about not having time have all the time of the world now but are not in the frame of mind to do what they want to do. It's a time where the mental stability of every person is to test. The same space, people, routine and activities have given birth to anxiety, depression, gloom and a lethargy where in one doesn't feel like doing anything.    How difficult it must be for those who are in quarantine? What would be the state of those who are away from their family / city/ village? To be isolated in a place where you do not know anyone and even if you know someone what is it that can be done? Nothing, nothing at all. Man always thought of himself as a superior and powerful spe

   A woman lives with a lurking fear of being judged / of failure / of being disliked and disapproved / of over reaching / of drawing negative attention  / of making wrong choices and the mightiest trinity of fear: the fear of being a bad daughter / wife / mother. This lurking fear has a deep impact on her routine, on her thought process and on the way she carries herself in the journey of life. Every man has a fear within; but despite everything that happens under the prestigious banner of feminism only the woman will be judged / misjudged / and no one can dare to tell anything to a man. It will take thousands of years for the mentality of the Indian society to change and be a witness to gender equality without any bias of caste / creed/ profession / any other barrier.    A woman should learn to come to terms with the lurking fear that troubles her. She needs to stop being tough towards herself. There is no need to be a perfectionist at home / workplace / in everything she does.

   Do we ever give a benefit of doubt to our inner circle, i.e. our nearest and dearest ones?  Whenever we converse with our family -  parent / spouse / child / sibling / bestie we often operate through the vision of our preconceived notions and the earlier experiences we have had with them. Everyone feels that we know our near ones very well and this thinking of ours does not allow us to keep our heart and mind open to them during conversations. This ideas that are fixated govern our present interaction and the trajectory of our future relationship with them.    Children and animals are blessed with the power to forget easily. But an adult - a dangerous and horrifying species on the planet has the power and capacity to carry the knowledge of an earlier negative experience in the heart, mind and eyes; thus influencing all interactions by looking for a hidden agenda. Due to this there is barely any harmony left in the interactions with our inner circle. The adage 'Fake it unt

   Why do we try to prove our worth to others? Are we not capable enough to see our worth? Being a highly intelligent lot; we still seek validation from others. We want others to accept us but we ourselves are unable to accept our 'self' as it is. Due to this we keep on trying to prove ourselves to others so that they accept us. But does it really matter? Are they worth it? On reflection the answer will be a negative one. To be acceptable and to hold worth in the eyes of others we spend most of the time of our life. Life would definitely be very different, worth living and beautiful if everyone of us stops draining the self in the pursuit of proving our worth.    One needs to understand that the world doesn't bother about you. It doesn't care what happens to you or what you do. Everyone comes to you for one or the other reason. Some come and fulfill their desires through you and sometimes your desires are fulfilled through the help of others.We all meet one another

We all keep on thinking about the past and planning for the future. But can we see our future ? Why can't we stop looking at our past ? The fact is nothing exists except the present neither the past  nor the future. How many of us live in the present? We all are slaves of our mind that keeps on thinking either about the past or about the future. Happy  and lucky is the person who is is able to live in the present. Such a person is a young mind that is neither childish nor old.    Actually speaking we human beings never pass through youthfulness. It is because we directly move from childhood to old age. This is because of the pressures of education system, the burden of our studies, the expectations of all around us and many other factors that deprive us of our youthfulness. We are fitted in a system that is rigid and competitive. We are not able to break away from the shackles of these demons in the form of our education system and competition. We ran a race and we expect our

   In any relation be it mother - child, brother - sister, husband - wife or among friends one of the other parties always feels a lacking. Whatever one does is never enough. Due to this there are many issues that happen. Sometimes this leads to a rift in the relationship or one of the other person is dejected and feel that there is nothing left in the relationship. Say for example a wife that performs the duties that are required of the family but one mistake  from her side makes the husband feel that that he is not getting enough. Due to this the wife is always under tremendous pressure and they may be lot of fights and arguments between the husband and wife. This applies to any relationship because whenever one of the party feels that what what he or she is doing is ultimate and weighs the behaviour of the other without considering the troubles and pain the other person undergoes in fulfilling the duties; there is a huge toll on that relation.    It is our human tendency to alw