Pratima Shah

   Some persons are 'perpetual waiters' who spend the time of their life in waiting. They are habituated with waiting; either small scale waiting like waiting at the station, waiting in line at the mall / traffic jams. Some wait for the right time to do what they want to do, some for the next holiday, some for the children to grow up - all these are examples of large scale waiting. People spend their life waiting for the right time to live a life of their desires.    This waiting is the state of mind of a person and is a signal that you are just stressed and worried about your future and thus you end up wasting your present. This stresses you because you get so busy in reaching your future destination that one reduces the present to merely a means to get there. When one wants to be in the future rather than living in the present; one is crushed in a split that is lacerating you deep inside. This way you are being instrumental in accelerating the aging process in your body

    During an argument or a disagreement with someone, most of us operate from pride almost at all times . Whenever there is a difference of opinion between two persons what hurts the most is the pride not the difference. If someone is asked to submit a report to another colleague to maintain transparency and ensure smooth functioning; why should that person feel bitter about it? This bitterness is nothing but pride and is not at all related in anyway to sending the report. We humans are capable enough to turn simple things into complicated issues. There are many who have the tag of being a "complicated mind". The pride within the person narrows down to one's wants  / likes/ feelings. If there is compassion instead of pride the person would be living life on a huge canvas with a bigger perception.     When differences arise do not get into your toxic circle of what you want; instead try to look at the situation with a wider perspective. Watch your mind, is it giving

   A person who looks perfectly fine but is always going through some pain or the other in the body / may be dealing with health issues could be the one who has many unresolved issues / inner conflict. When we have an argument with someone; we argue, give reasons for our justification and resolve the matter. This happens with issues at the workplace or among friends. A human is capable enough to resolve the issues others than with the family. The reason for this is that every human is so much burdened with the pressures and expectations of the family. A woman once narrated a childhood incident of how her puppy died because of her. Her parents made her apologize to everyone in the family by writing an apology. She was just a child and barely 10 years. Her parents had asked her to take care of their pet as they were away. The girl herself had never got used to being with the puppy as it was barely fifteen days of buying the puppy as a pet. The girl was in her room doing her homework

Most of us may have watched the video of Greta Thunberg, the 16 year old environmental activist from Sweden. In her video she blames the previous generations and the world leaders for ruining the earth and making life difficult for the young generation. The way she has vented out her anger and distress at the past generations speaks of the young crop that is going to be yielded in the future. Most of the children and teenagers seriously believe that it is their parents and grandparents who have created chaos and made the world a broken world full of insecurity, economic depression and degradation of the environment.    The generation is not wrong but how valid are they in blaming the previous generations. Rather than blaming why can't the youth find sustainable solutions. If we look at the past there will be umpteen reasons for which the elderly generations can be blamed. But the beauty lies in moving ahead rather than brooding over the past. One must take into consideration t

   It is really very difficult to break our habits and adapt to changes. Each one of us is not capable enough to break the shackles of old habits and form fruitful new habits. In trying to break a habit we are tempted many times to give up and most of the times we give up. According to research and many of the psychologists - it takes 21 days to develop a new habit. Still most of us give up while we are in the process of creating a positive life change as we are in pain due to the stress that follows in repairing our old habits. In the initial phase every one is in great enthusiasm to do everything that it takes but gradually the enthusiasm with which one began the journey subsides. Forming new habits is like wearing new shoes which feel uncomfortable in the initial phase. Once your feet get used to the new pair they become like a second skin.    According to the timeless words of Publilius Syrus, "Powerful indeed is the empire of habits." Yes, habits are very powerful b

    There are people in the world around us who are experts at using us when required and once their needs are met, they completely ignore us. Many of us may have experienced this. A colleague of mine was narrating one of her experiences which left me aghast. But with the advent and extreme use of social media this has become very common. People ignore very cold bloodedly and even disappear for a long time. This kind of ghosting leaves the other party shattered because he / she is very much attached emotionally. In relations where someone is attached emotionally and deeply involved, it becomes rather difficult for the other person to cope with this traumatic experience. There are a variety of ways to ignore someone like not replying to messages / just sending bull shit emojis but not responding / being busy for that particular person but sparing time for the shittiest stuff / not meeting the other person / ghosting / showing and conveying that 'I am tired' of the same stuf

We have the potential to create and recreate our  life but still we are bound and governed by our thoughts. The thoughts we think determine our life. Thoughts that arise in the mind have the power  to destroy our peace as well as give us peace. Too many thoughts may sometimes create a void in the mind. They may make one lose track of the path of life or may put someone back on track.    It doesn't take long for a person to accept defeat due to the thoughts and the pressures that they create. Your thoughts can make you lose your self esteem / become depressed / feel hopeless / become suicidal and lose interest in life. When these things happen due to thoughts there is a sense of utter despair and hopelessness that prevails upon the person. There is no direction nor any interest in living life. Nothing pacifies the thoughts nor does the person feel peaceful.    Nip these thoughts / this state of your mind in the initial process. Do not wait for time to decrease this thought

   Have you ever felt that there is a kind of tension in your body due to which you have a tight neck / tight shoulders / upset stomach / headaches / or anything like a heavy weight on your body? Due to these symptoms one feels as if there is a huge burden on the body; like a heavy backpack on you. This backpack is filled with nothing but the emotional baggage that one carries throughout the life. This baggage may have come into your life due to childhood problems / familial issues / workplace issues / issues of the society. Sometimes one is so stuck in the old habits that these old habits are responsible for adding a load to the existing emotional baggage that you have stuffed your backpack with.    The emotional baggage one carries interferes with many of the phases of one's life - personal / professional / societal / ambitions / relations / satisfaction in life and many others. This happens because we are very much influenced by our past experiences - solved / unsolved. If

   There are a variety of techniques through which the candidates can answer the questions during an interview. Techniques like compelling story technique, parroting technique, re framing technique, mirroring technique and the Abraham Lincoln technique. One particular approach that can be used to answer the behavioral questions is STAR (situation, task, action and result). It helps a candidate to answer the questions related to his / her behavior by structuring it as per the situation, task, action or the result. This technique helps your to deliver your responses in a simple yet powerful manner and gives an idea on how he / she has dealt with specific work situation and its challenges.     STAR is also known as CAR (context/ challenge, action, result. Both are same in its approach; context here in the CAR relates to situation and task of STAR. Both these methods are similar to the PAR (problem, action, result). The plus point of STAR is that it allows to voice your achievements

   Sometimes I wonder - do we love our people in the right way? What is the right way to love our dear ones? Who decides what is right and wrong? But then with experience all of us realize that to love someone in the right way we need to set them free; allow them to fly in the sky they want to fly and not suffocate them in the name of love. This is so easy to type / say, but difficult to practice. Everyone especially the emotional and highly sensitive ones among us are sooooo caring, anxious, and touchy for the ones they love. This behavior leads to many issues in their relations. Sometimes it is even on the verge of getting shattered completely.     The highly volatile issues that come up in any relation are due to the immense love / care / concern for the person we love. It is possible that the person we love may feel suffocated due to this excess things from our side. This happens the most in cases where one of the partner is over - possessive / when one of the parent too is

       It is aptly said in the Persian language - " bee aamoz ta-zindai " which means - There is no end to learning.  Only a learner till the end, can acquire true knowledge in life. It is the duty of every teacher to keep oneself abreast of all the developments and teaching strategies in their field. Read a lot, do proper planning of classes, prepare yourself daily for classes and deliver it with great enthusiasm. Times have changed and so must the teacher. There is abundant to read, learn and restructure as today's classroom is very different and difficult to handle than the past. Teaching is a noble profession where one has no right to play with the future of the learners. Develop virtues of honesty, integrity, punctuality,  simplicity and discipline as they are at the core of being a good teacher.  Create a conducive environment for learning and this will all be possible if you are like a learner all your life. Do not let the learner within you die else you can

   Irrespective of your field / job description you are always a salesperson - because you communicate the value of something that you do / are required to do. Due to the competition and rivalry one must learn the art of selling yourself in your field / career.     One constantly strives to sustain a positive image of the self. One is selling ideas by highlighting its merits / trying to expand your horizons of influence / negotiating to disagreements / trying to make others agree to your point of view. We need to get better at all of these in order to rise at a personal and professional level because we are always selling our ideas / views / creativity / opinions and many more things that we are required to do for the profession we are in.     To sell yourself effectively one must have a well written sales pitch in the form of your resume / CV. It will shortlist you for the position you are applying for, if it sounds like a professional sales presentation through which you wi

     The geography of your face and the body which one sees has a dramatic impact in a face to face encounter. Due to this importance, the gaze can be classified into 3 types: Social Gazing, Intimate Gazing and Power Gazing. 1. Social Gaze : In a social encounter, the gazer's eyes look in a triangular area on the face of the other person, i.e between the eyes and the mouth almost for 90% during the encounter. The environment is non - threatening and you will be perceived as non - aggressive by the other person. The gaze is more focused in the area under the eyes. This is often used by people when they are with family and friends while in conversations with them. It is also known as the best responding gaze when your gaze meets the gaze of the other and is also perceived as being open and approachable. 2. Intimate Gaze : This is the gaze which one gives in the triangular area between the eyes and the chest when one is close to the person and when a person is at a distance t

     We humans are all conditioned to live a life with the same age old beliefs, rituals and a herd mentality that makes our mind function on a set pattern. Our education system is a good example of this because the knowledge that is imparted from generation to generation is barely modified / updated. The conditioning which are within us never give us a holistic perception of our existence due to which we live a fragmented life wherein we have compartments. These compartments are never in sync with each other but always in opposition to the other compartments. The result is that every human suffers from opposing thoughts and emotions due to which our decisions oscillate between extremes. The conditioning has deformed us in many ways.    Instead of oscillating between extremes why don't we try to understand the push and pulls of life. To dissolve confusion and gain clarity we need to have an understanding that helps us discern right from wrong. This discernment in turn will giv

     High achievers are those who are highly disciplined and have a daily routine. Their secret of success lies in waking up early, exercising to take care of their health, being well informed - through reading / internet and organizing their day. High achievers follow their routines with utmost discipline and feel guilty when they are unable to do so. According to sources, all the topmost successful personalities on this earth meditate, exercise and read in the early hours of the morning. This gives them the boost and energy to go about peacefully, cheerfully and positively with their daily routine. Rising early and performing such a routine gives you the confidence and strength to face anything negative that comes your way. These habits will leave you rejuvenated after the night and help you to focus on the activities which need to be performed during the day. Inhale every joy that comes your way and exhale it with loads of gratitude to God.    To live healthy one must ensure to

   The socially expressive component which is associated with emotional intelligence speaks about the way humans should emotionally communicate with people around them by showing empathy, sympathy and care - concern for others. If we do not possess these traits it is rather difficult for us to survive in this world. These traits are very important features associated with being socially expressive.    These traits have an importance because our non verbal behavior - like posture, gestures, facial expressions and vocalization depends on them. If we are angry / upset / depressed / bored it can be easily noticed by the person with whom we live or communicate. Showing empathy towards others when required speaks about the height of understanding you have despite the ill behavior of the person. We are sympathetic to situations / people / animals but rarely do we show empathy towards others.   One needs to have a balance of emotions even though things are not favorable in life. The soci

   We humans are not able to digest if anyone around us gives us feedback - be it positive or negative. We always want to answer back or give clarification to the person regarding our failure to do something. Are we right in justifying when we have not been able to do justice to the task which we were supposed to do? During the Practice Teaching sessions today, one of the classmates after completing the lesson began proclaiming to the class - "Now let's see who gives me negative feedback? I am going to take revenge on that person when it is my turn to give feedback." I was shocked and asked the classmate - who are you to do this? He replied, it has to always be so; if someone is going to give me negative feedback I will do the same. I asked, " Why did you come here if you never wanted to learn from your mistakes?" He replied, 'I will learn but I will take revenge also.     If this is the mentality of a learner, how far will he / she go in life in

   All of us are so comfortable and carefree being in a comfort zone of our choice. This leads to trouble when we face adverse situations. No matter however adverse the situation is we humans are wired to tackle it and face it through a variety of jugaads. For some of us our home and our room is a comfort zone. Some are comfortable amidst their family members and feel threatened when with strangers or someone they know but are not friendly with them. My comfort zone is that where I am able to follow my routine and go about smoothly with my day completing each and every task that I do for me, for the home and for my family. Like all of us change is difficult for me to digest. I do not like changes in my schedule; be it my meal time, my work time or anything that needs to be done regularly.    But now that I am away from home in a hostel at EFLU, Hyderabad for the Post Graduate Certificate in the Teaching of English (PGCTE) Contact Programme of 1 month, I feel bewildered facing the

   What is inner growth? Is it being spiritual? The answer - Inner / spiritual growth is nothing but acceptance of the self by loving and accepting ourselves fully. If we accept and love ourselves fully then only we can be capable of giving love and acceptance to those around us - be it our family, friends, relatives or anyone who comes in touch with us. To love and accept ourselves fully we must keep in mind few things that will help us to achieve    The first thing that one must be careful about is the judgmental nature. Since birth each of us is being judged by parents, teachers and our peers. We create these judgmental perceptions by observing others who are being judged at home, school, college or at the work place where we see someone being praised or dismissed for a particular trait. This way a mind map is created in our mind which shapes our perception. Our ecosystem revers self confidence, extroversion and success. We judge ourselves against those traits and judge oth

    The year 2016 which made my professional life zero was something out of the blue for me and my family.  I resigned from the institute where I had been working since 2005. It was a like a catastrophe which struck my world and everything seemed so blur. The reason for resigning were the rumors which had been hurled into the air of the place by a handful of persons who knew it in their hearts that everything was baseless. It was the time where I came to know who are my real friends and who are the fake ones.    We always live in an illusion when it comes to knowing the people around us. There are so many around us who show us that they are our friends but actually they are not. They are just taking advantage of your position and trying to please you through their words. They genuinely never ever feel anything for you nor get attached to you as a friend. I never realized this before I resigned in January 2016. The ones whose support I expected were there with me in my good ti